Don’t feel guilty – we know you all love your wives. But now and again every man needs 90 minutes completely undisturbed to watch the match (and perhaps a pint at half time).
Easier said then done? Then you need our five ways to distract your missus so you can stay glued to the screen. Here goes…
1.) You know that famous, good looking guy who your missus drools over on TV? Tell her he’s doing an appearance in town in an hour. She’d better get moving if she wants to meet him…queues will be enormous…
2.) Remember that shirt of yours she hates for no logical reason? Well, promise to throw it out if she gives you 90 minutes of uninterrupted game time (don’t really chuck it out though!)
3.) Eat something that smells disgusting (like boiled eggs) so that she can’t bear to sit in the same room as you. Simple yet effective.
4.) Invent a scandalous piece of gossip (don’t worry, gossip is different to lies) and she’ll be on the phone to her friends for at least an hour and a half. In fact you probably won’t be able to get her off all night.
5.) Tell her you’ve bought her a new piece of jewelry (shiny and expensive, obviously). The twist is that as a romantic surprise you’ve ‘hidden’ it in the garden. And by hidden we mean buried. Hand her a metal detector and a shovel and you’ve got plenty of alone time. If she seems dubious, pass it off as a romantic gesture that you’ve put time and effort into and act hurt. (Note: this is dry weather dependent; otherwise that’s the out of order).
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